My dad retired a few years ago, at which point my parents pretty much decided that they’d rather live half their lives in hotel rooms, usually on the other side of the world. Let’s just say that I’m used to getting voicemails from my parents as they pit-stop in Salt Lake City or Minneapolis (the only access points to reach the rest of the world when your permanent address is in Missoula, Montana) telling me that they’ll be out-of-touch for a few weeks because they’re going to look at birds, in, I don’t know, Tahiti. (As I type this, they’re enroute to New Delhi.) It’s a tough life.
But despite the fact that they’ve pretty much touched down in every conceivable country, they’re massively paranoid about getting pick-pocketed. My mom in particular. She’ll wear a fanny pack that has built-in, knife-proof wire—in Tribeca. All rules governing style be damned. To be fair, I do get it: We were once with a small group of well-seasoned travelers in Quito, Ecuador, and despite being warned of pick-pocketing in the area, at the end of a two block walk, half the group ended up with slashed backpacks and pockets, completely unbeknownst to them. Which is why I think I’m going to get my parents these teflon P^Cubed Pants, which come complete with built-in, cut-resistant money belts. Pretty smart, right? Plus, my dad never met a cargo pant he didn’t want to wear. (As shown here, at Many Glacier in Montana—the best hotel in the world—with Rob.) According to the reviews, they look equally acceptable on ladies.
P^CUBED PICK-POCKET PROOF PANTS, $109.95, Clothing Art.
Oh my gosh – can I have a crush on your parents? So cute!!